How to Settle a Child Custody Case Outside of the Courtroom

Child custody cases can get ugly. When a married couple seeks divorce, children can sometimes be at the root of the issue. Custody issues can cause each parent to use the children as a pawn to get what he or she wants. Sometimes, each parent wants full custody of their child, which causes a long, extended battle in the courtroom. But this doesn't always have to be the case. There are ways to settle your child custody case outside of the courthouse, and to work amicably between you and your soon-to-be former spouse.

• Write your spouse a settlement letter near the beginning of your divorce case. Lay out what you feel is important in regards to the children. Write the settlement letter in a friendly, informative and caring tone, and explain your reasons for wanting the custody arrangement that you are seeking (joint? sole?).
• Use modern day technologies to talk out custody issues, utilizing email and phone text messages which can be documented for court. It is important to document everything as much as possible--oral agreements will not hold up in court. However, if you conduct civil discussions regarding child custody through email, you will be able to put thought and consideration into what you are requesting. In addition, you will also have documented proof of any agreements your spouse decides he or she is willing to work with you on. This will prove helpful if you and your spouse still end up in the courtroom arguing over custody, because you will have documented proof as to what he or she agreed on. This will help you solidify what you were both willing to work out in regards to the child.
• Negotiate with a mediator. Instead of taking your case to court where you may feel highly intimidated and stressed, you can always request mediation with your spouse in regards to your child custody case. Mediators are third-party advocates that sit with parents and helps them determine what is in the best interests of the children.
• Mediating and negotiating your child custody case, along with child support, outside the courtroom is faster and less costly than going through the courts.

Find more helpful articles and tips at http://www.fathershelphotline.com!

How to Write a Solid Parenting Plan for Your Children with Your Ex

When going through a legal separation or divorce through the family law courtroom, you will be asked to mediate with your ex to create what is called a "Parenting Plan," otherwise known as a "Custody Agreement." A parenting plan is a detailed description of child custody, legal custody and visitation. It will lay out how the children will be raised in regards to medical emergencies, religious upbringing and educational needs. Most courts will put in place a standard parenting plan that is vague and not very specific, which can lead to confusion for you and your former spouse. Drafting your own to cover all possible situations is ideal.

• Decide on legal custody. If this has not already been determined by the courts, then you will have to work with your ex to determine a custody arrangement that works best for the whole family. The two kinds of legal custody are sole legal custody and joint legal custody. Sole legal custody means that one parent has full control and authority in making decisions for the child without the other's consent. Joint legal custody typically allows the other parent to have a say and be considered when it comes to the child's medical care, religious upbringing, and education.
• Work out child visitation schedules. Many court-drawn parenting plans give the non-custodial parent "reasonable visitation," which is typically understood to be an every other weekend kind of arrangement. However, if there is ever a dispute or argument, this will not hold up if you end up calling the cops to try to pick up your children on "your weekend." It is important that the physical custody and schedule for your children is as specific as possible, such as "every other weekend from Friday at 6pm to Monday at 8am" or "Every Wednesday from 3pm to 8pm." Also, find a way to alternate important holidays, giving certain holidays to each parent dependent on the year. For example, on odd-numbered years, the Mother may get the children on Thanksgiving and Easter, and the Father gets the children on Christmas and the Fourth of July, and then it alternates every year.
• Figure out transportation and pick up locations for the children. Depending on the distance between homes, some parents may alternate transporting the children, or one parent may be solely responsible for picking up and dropping off the children. In other situations, in order to lessen the hostility and confusion of exchanges, it is best to set them up at familiar locations for the children, such as having one parent drop the child off at school after their visitation, while the other picks them up to start THEIR visitation time.
• Determine how medical care will be paid. One parent may be responsible for providing medical insurance, while the other may be responsible for paying for co-pays. Many times, parents decide to split unpaid medical costs 50/50 for their children. This typically includes dental care and emergency visits as well.
• Agree on how you want your children to be educated, if they are not already in school. If one parent is against a child going to a religious-based school, this needs to be addressed in the parenting plan to ensure that the other parent's wishes are taken into consideration immediately. Educational concerns that may also need to be addressed may include how the other parent is notified of parent/teacher conferences, school activities, etc.
• Determine how extracurricular activities and daycare will be paid. Some parents decide to share the cost while others may put one parent in charge of providing monies for such extra activities. Daycare can also be figured into monthly child support if the parents want to consider this as an option as well.
• Establish child support. Finances can also be a strain when parents are trying to establish two households for their children. It is important that the courts address child support in certain instances to allow each parent the ability to financially care for their children and hopefully uphold the same lifestyle they were accustomed to before the divorce/separation.
• Determine how communication will be carried out from here onward. If you and your ex are in a more hostile situation where arguments may occur, you can agree to keep all communications through email. If you are able to converse with your ex in a civil manner, you can agree to communicate regarding the children during drop offs, pickups, and exchanges.

The more specific the parenting plan, the better. Think of everything when it comes to your children, and consider worst-case scenarios and every-day concerns.  Learn more at fathershelphotline.com!

Taxes and Child Custody: Who Can Claim the Child as a Dependent? (And Other Exemption Questions)

When it comes to your taxes,
who gets to claim the child
on their tax return as a dependent
when you're divorced or separated?

Whether you're in the middle of a divorce, already have the decree, or are separated from your ex, you may find you have a number of questions in regards to how you'll be filing your income taxes from here on out.  I'm Dennis Gac, and as an advocate for fathers' rights, I hear a lot of questions and horror stories about how come tax time, no one wants to follow the rules in regards to claiming a child as a dependent and filing as Head of Household on their taxes.  Here is a list of the most common questions I receive regarding taxes and child custody.  Click on each question to be led to the post with the answer and explanation as to what should be done in each situation.


I have a court order saying that I have the right to claim the tax deduction on my child even though I'm the non-custodial parent, but the IRS tax laws state that the person that the child stays with more than half the year (in my case, the custodial parent) receives the tax deduction.  Which rule do I follow?

There is no court order in regards to who gets to claim our children on their taxes each year.  IRS code states that the custodial parent (or the parent with whom the child lives with) automatically receives the tax deduction.  What happens if I have no court order regarding who gets to claim the child, and I have joint physical custody of my children?

I am in the middle of a divorce right now with my wife, and plan on filing married, filing separately for taxes.  If we don't have a court order as to who gets to claim the child on their taxes, how do we determine who gets the tax credit for my son?

Does the custodial parent automatically get the tax deduction for children each year?

Are child support payments tax deductible?

In my divorce decree and parenting plan for my children, the court ordered that I would get the tax exemption for my children each year.  My ex-wife is telling me that she is going to file before me and claim the children and head of household to get a bigger tax return.  What do I do?

What is the IRS Form 8332 and what would I need it for?

I receive child support payments from my ex.  Do I have to claim this on my taxes as income?

Taxes and Child Custody: What to Do if Your Ex is Going to Claim Your Child on Taxes Against Court Orders

In my divorce decree and parenting plan for my children, the court ordered that I would get the tax exemption for my children each year.  My ex-wife is telling me that she is going to file before me and claim the children and head of household to get a bigger tax return.  What do I do?

When it comes to claiming children on taxes, any court order signed by a judge will overrule IRS tax codes.  IRS tax codes come into play if there is no court order regarding who claims the child on their taxes, or if the verbiage on the court order is unclear as to who gets the tax deduction.  Section 152 of IRS tax code covers how the tax exemption claim is determined if no court order is already in place for the parents to follow and abide by.

When claiming a child on your taxes, it is highly recommended that the other parent that is NOT claiming the child sign an 8332 IRS Form, which is the “Release of Claim to Exemption for Child of Divorced or Separated Parents.”  This is not required, but definitely makes it a little easier and lets the other parent know that they are giving up their rights to claim the child on their own taxes.

If you ex-wife ends up claiming the children on her taxes and you get a letter back from the IRS stating that you cannot claim your child because that Social Security number has already been claimed by someone else, then you could take a copy of that letter and file a motion through the courts for an order to show cause regarding contempt of court.  Your ex will then have to show cause as to why she violated the court order, and you will more than likely be compensated for what you lost out on from the claim and may even be compensated for the court costs and legal fees you incurred in order to bring the order to the courts.

For more questions and answers regarding taxes and child custody, click here!

Taxes and Child Custody: Does the Custodial Parent Automatically Get the Tax Deduction Each Year for the Children?

Does the custodial parent automatically get the tax deduction for children each year?

Yes and no.  By IRS tax code, yes, the parent with whom the child spends the most overnights with is typically the primary custodial parent and will receive the tax deduction.  However, there are a number of situations in which a judge will rule and sign an order to state that a specific parent will have the right to claim the tax deduction every year for their child, or that each parent alternates years in which they can  claim the child as a dependent.  If there is a court order in place in regards to who gets to claim the child on their tax deductions, then that is what should be followed over IRS tax code—IRS tax code is always overridden when there is a signed court order in place.

For more questions and answers regarding taxes and child custody, click here!

Taxes and Child Custody: Married, Filing Separately--Who Gets to Claim the Child on Taxes Without a Court Order?

I am in the middle of a divorce right now with my wife, and plan on filing married, filing separately for taxes.  If we don't have a court order as to who gets to claim the child on their taxes, how do we determine who gets the tax credit for my son?

There are two rules that govern who can and cannot file for a child's tax deduction: court orders and IRS tax code.  If you have a court order, this overrides the tax code rules, but the IRS does have a way of determining who gets to claim a child on their taxes.  The IRS determines a claim based on who the child stays with the most.  This is figured by overnights.  So in 365 days of the year, how many overnights did the child have with you?  If it was 183 days or more, then you could claim the child on your taxes.  The smartest way to do this with little irritation from the IRS is to have your ex sign IRS Form 8332, “Release of Claim to Exemption for Child of Divorced or Separated Parents.”

For more questions and answers pertaining to child custody and tax exemptions and deductions for single fathers, click here!

Taxes and Child Custody: Joint Physical Custody of My Child and No Court Order Regarding Who Gets to Claim Child on Taxes?

There is no court order in regards to who gets to claim our children on their taxes each year.  IRS code states that the custodial parent (or the parent with whom the child lives with) automatically receives the tax deduction.  What happens if I have no court order regarding who gets to claim the child, and I have joint physical custody of my children?

When the children are split equally time-wise and there is no court order, it can be more difficult to determine who gets to “technically” claim the children each year.  If you and your ex cannot come to an agreement or an arrangement on who claims when, then you have two options—you can either go back to court to have a judge rule and create an order that works best for the two of you, or you could actually figure out who had the children most during the last year.

With no court order, you need to go with what is set forth in Section 152 of the IRS tax code.  Physical time with each parent is considered by how many nights the child stayed at the parent's place.  So out of 365 days, how many days did the children spend the night with you?  If it is less than with your ex, then your ex could legally claim the exemption.  If the children spent more time with you, then you have the right to claim them and claim head of household as well.  As long as your children spent the night at your place for 183 days out of the year or more, then you can claim the children on your taxes and receive the child tax exemption.  If doing it this way, you would need your ex to sign the IRS Form 8332, “Release of Claim to Exemption for Child of Divorced or Separated Parents.”

For more questions and answers regarding taxes and child exemptions and deductions, click here!

Kate Gosselin suing Jon Gosselin (Jon & Kate Plus 8) for child support?!

According to a number of online sources, including rightcelebrity.com, Kate Gosselin from Jon & Kate Plus 8 on TLC is suing her ex husband Jon Gosselin for $125,000 in back pay of child support.  He was already ordered by the courts to pay her $22,000 a month in child support for their eight children, even though Kate is still bringing in money from the show and gets free promotional items from the show, as long as has her children's food, clothes and toys paid for in full by donations to the show from large companies looking for product placement.

Since Jon Gosselin is no longer able to work for TLC, he cannot afford the $22,000 a month in child support--since he's not making near what he used to when he first split from Kate.  Many people are wondering why he even needs to pay child support when Kate Gosselin is obviously doing just fine on her own with TLC furnishing almost everything for her children.

What do you think?  Is it fair that Kate Gosselin is upset about child support payments from Jon Gosselin that she obviously does not need?  Is it fair that Jon Gosselin is ordered to pay an outrageous amount of child support for children who are handed everything in life, and for an amount that he can no longer sustain now that he is not employed with TLC?

Religious battle causes father to lose custody?

A man in Anderson, Indiana is filing an appeal against a decision that a judge made regarding his custody--by using his religion against him.  The following is an excerpt from an article in USAToday:

Craig Scarberry, 29, of Anderson says a recent ruling granting sole custody of his three young children to his ex-wife included two references to his religious beliefs. The ruling noted that Scarberry and ex-wife Christine Porcaro did not participate in the same religious training and said that when Scarberry, who is agnostic, had followed the Christian faith, "the parties were able to communicate relatively effectively."

What do you think?  Should religion determine a parent's ability to raise their child?

Read more about this article here on USAToday.com!

Specific Case Law Examples for Your Fathers' Rights Custody Case

When it comes to writing a compelling court argument, it is important that you reference certain case law and past cases that have dealt with similar issues. Here is a quick list of cases to reference and research further into to help you in pursuing your custody case pro se, whether you're on the defense or the offense:

Jarrett v. Jarrett (1982) 102 S. Ct 1388 - If dealing with an ex-wife that is attempting to terminate your rights as a father.

Craig v. Boren. 429 U.S. 190, 197-199 (1976) - Proof that the courts cannot subject men and women to disparate treatment. This case states that men and women cannot be treated unequally.

Roe v. Wade. 410 U.S. 113 (1972), 162-63 - Regarding the fundamental rights a parent has to care for their children.

Dunn v. Blumstein, 405 U.S. 330, 342 - Can be paired with the above Roe v. Wade as it is additional case law regarding fundamental rights of parents.

Pierce v. Society of Sisters, 268 U.S. 510, 534-35 (1925) - Case that proved fathers should be free from unreasonable State interference when raising their child/children.

Lehr v. Robertson 463 U.S. 248. *264: 103 S. Ct. 2985 - In regards to existence of substantial relationship as criterion in best interests of the child.

Meyer v. Nebraska, 262 U.S. 390, 399 (1923) - Proving the right the conceive and raise one's child

May v. Andersen. 345 U.S. 528. 533 (1953) - Proves that father's "rights far more precious...than property rights" when it comes to raising their children.

A little research into these case law references may help you with your father's rights case. There are a number of important cases, both locally and federally, that may assist you in protecting your rights as a father.

Dennis Gac is widely known as "The World's premier fathers rights Consultant!" But why would you care? Well, I'll tell you if you rush over to his site... I think you'll come to your own conclusion that he "IS" the real deal! Experience someone who works and thinks outside the box for you! Read what others have to say at.... http://www.fathershelphotline.com/.

Trend of 50/50 Custody is Growing

Holly Davis, a family lawyer in Austin, Texas, has released information that shows that 50/50 joint physical custody is becoming a more popular trend in America today.

"You're definitely seeing more 50/50 custody situations, and I think that's attributed in large part to changing gender roles," says Davis.  "More women are pursuing careers, and more men are choosing to focus on their children."

This is a great thing to hear; however, it does not mean that 50/50 physical custody arrangements are a good fit for every family.  Some circumstances may make it difficult or impossible, such as location of the parents, the communicative abilities of both parents, and the willingness for each parent to be a positive influence on the children instead of causing arguments and negative energy whenever the kids are dropped off or picked up by the other parent.  Just like there is no cookie-cutter divorce, there will never be a cookie-cutter custody arrangement that works for every family.

Read more about Holly Davis' findings on PRWeb.com!

Joel Leyden Speaks Out

YouTube is a wonderful place for dads all around the world to speak their mind about the pain and suffering they are dealing with when it comes to being separated from their children.

I have no words for this.  Joel Leyden from Isreal pours his heart out in this YouTube video.