How to Write a Solid Parenting Plan for Your Children with Your Ex

When going through a legal separation or divorce through the family law courtroom, you will be asked to mediate with your ex to create what is called a "Parenting Plan," otherwise known as a "Custody Agreement." A parenting plan is a detailed description of child custody, legal custody and visitation. It will lay out how the children will be raised in regards to medical emergencies, religious upbringing and educational needs. Most courts will put in place a standard parenting plan that is vague and not very specific, which can lead to confusion for you and your former spouse. Drafting your own to cover all possible situations is ideal.

• Decide on legal custody. If this has not already been determined by the courts, then you will have to work with your ex to determine a custody arrangement that works best for the whole family. The two kinds of legal custody are sole legal custody and joint legal custody. Sole legal custody means that one parent has full control and authority in making decisions for the child without the other's consent. Joint legal custody typically allows the other parent to have a say and be considered when it comes to the child's medical care, religious upbringing, and education.
• Work out child visitation schedules. Many court-drawn parenting plans give the non-custodial parent "reasonable visitation," which is typically understood to be an every other weekend kind of arrangement. However, if there is ever a dispute or argument, this will not hold up if you end up calling the cops to try to pick up your children on "your weekend." It is important that the physical custody and schedule for your children is as specific as possible, such as "every other weekend from Friday at 6pm to Monday at 8am" or "Every Wednesday from 3pm to 8pm." Also, find a way to alternate important holidays, giving certain holidays to each parent dependent on the year. For example, on odd-numbered years, the Mother may get the children on Thanksgiving and Easter, and the Father gets the children on Christmas and the Fourth of July, and then it alternates every year.
• Figure out transportation and pick up locations for the children. Depending on the distance between homes, some parents may alternate transporting the children, or one parent may be solely responsible for picking up and dropping off the children. In other situations, in order to lessen the hostility and confusion of exchanges, it is best to set them up at familiar locations for the children, such as having one parent drop the child off at school after their visitation, while the other picks them up to start THEIR visitation time.
• Determine how medical care will be paid. One parent may be responsible for providing medical insurance, while the other may be responsible for paying for co-pays. Many times, parents decide to split unpaid medical costs 50/50 for their children. This typically includes dental care and emergency visits as well.
• Agree on how you want your children to be educated, if they are not already in school. If one parent is against a child going to a religious-based school, this needs to be addressed in the parenting plan to ensure that the other parent's wishes are taken into consideration immediately. Educational concerns that may also need to be addressed may include how the other parent is notified of parent/teacher conferences, school activities, etc.
• Determine how extracurricular activities and daycare will be paid. Some parents decide to share the cost while others may put one parent in charge of providing monies for such extra activities. Daycare can also be figured into monthly child support if the parents want to consider this as an option as well.
• Establish child support. Finances can also be a strain when parents are trying to establish two households for their children. It is important that the courts address child support in certain instances to allow each parent the ability to financially care for their children and hopefully uphold the same lifestyle they were accustomed to before the divorce/separation.
• Determine how communication will be carried out from here onward. If you and your ex are in a more hostile situation where arguments may occur, you can agree to keep all communications through email. If you are able to converse with your ex in a civil manner, you can agree to communicate regarding the children during drop offs, pickups, and exchanges.

The more specific the parenting plan, the better. Think of everything when it comes to your children, and consider worst-case scenarios and every-day concerns.  Learn more at fathershelphotline.com!

Taxes and Child Custody: Who Can Claim the Child as a Dependent? (And Other Exemption Questions)

When it comes to your taxes,
who gets to claim the child
on their tax return as a dependent
when you're divorced or separated?

Whether you're in the middle of a divorce, already have the decree, or are separated from your ex, you may find you have a number of questions in regards to how you'll be filing your income taxes from here on out.  I'm Dennis Gac, and as an advocate for fathers' rights, I hear a lot of questions and horror stories about how come tax time, no one wants to follow the rules in regards to claiming a child as a dependent and filing as Head of Household on their taxes.  Here is a list of the most common questions I receive regarding taxes and child custody.  Click on each question to be led to the post with the answer and explanation as to what should be done in each situation.


I have a court order saying that I have the right to claim the tax deduction on my child even though I'm the non-custodial parent, but the IRS tax laws state that the person that the child stays with more than half the year (in my case, the custodial parent) receives the tax deduction.  Which rule do I follow?

There is no court order in regards to who gets to claim our children on their taxes each year.  IRS code states that the custodial parent (or the parent with whom the child lives with) automatically receives the tax deduction.  What happens if I have no court order regarding who gets to claim the child, and I have joint physical custody of my children?

I am in the middle of a divorce right now with my wife, and plan on filing married, filing separately for taxes.  If we don't have a court order as to who gets to claim the child on their taxes, how do we determine who gets the tax credit for my son?

Does the custodial parent automatically get the tax deduction for children each year?

Are child support payments tax deductible?

In my divorce decree and parenting plan for my children, the court ordered that I would get the tax exemption for my children each year.  My ex-wife is telling me that she is going to file before me and claim the children and head of household to get a bigger tax return.  What do I do?

What is the IRS Form 8332 and what would I need it for?

I receive child support payments from my ex.  Do I have to claim this on my taxes as income?

Taxes and Child Custody: What is the IRS Form 8332 and What Would I Need it For?

What is the IRS Form 8332 and what would I need it for?

If you are a divorced or separated parent with a minor child, then only one of you will be able to legally claim your child on your taxes. For some parents, they want the child tax deduction to receive a better refund or to offset taxes that might be owed.  Others have a better financial benefit for filing head of household with the child as a dependent.  If you have been in the courtroom for a divorce or legal separation, you may already have court orders as to who claims the child on their taxes and when (some parents alternate years, or in relationships with more than one child, one parent claims one child every year, the other claims another every year).

However, if you do not have a court order in place as to who gets the claim your child every year on their taxes, then section 152(e)(1) of the IRS tax code governs who can claim the child—the parent who has the child more than 50% of the time.  In most cases, this is the custodial parent, or the parent with primary physical custody.

When one parent is claiming the child, it is strongly recommended that they file their taxes with a signed 8332 IRS form from the other parent.  This form is a technicality that just shows the other parent that they are signing over their right to claim the child as a dependent, and will help if the IRS ever audits you or your ex-wife for possible fraudulent tax claims.

For more questions and answers regarding taxes and child custody, click here!

Taxes and Child Custody: Do I Follow Court Order or IRS Tax Code to Claim Child Exemption on Taxes?

I have a court order saying that I have the right to claim the tax deduction on my child even though I'm the non-custodial parent, but the IRS tax laws state that the person that the child stays with more than half the year (in my case, the custodial parent) receives the tax deduction.  Which rule do I follow?

Sometimes, when it comes to divorce or custody cases, there are sometimes situations in which the court will rule certain circumstances in regards to claiming a child on one's taxes.  For example, if you were going through a divorce case, you may have mediated with your ex-wife and worked out an agreement that although she had more time with the children, that you were to claim the children on your tax returns as head of household to receive the tax benefits.

When it comes to court divorce decree versus IRS tax code, a signed order by a judge overrides the IRS tax code.  So if you have a signed court order stating that you are the one to receive the tax deduction, then this will override any IRS tax code that is in place in regards to claiming a dependent child.  If you and your ex agree to alternate years, you may need to fill out and sign IRS Form 8332, which is a “Release of Claim to Exemption for Child of Divorced or Separated Parents.”

If you file for the exemption and later find out by the IRS that your ex filed for the exemption on the child against court orders, you would then file through the courts a motion for order to show cause regarding contempt, as your ex would have violated a court order by claiming the child even though a previous order ruled otherwise.

See other questions related to taxes and child custody by clicking here!