Tuesday, January 11, 2011

How to Avoid Setting a Precedent in Paying Child Support Without a Court Order

During a divorce or legal separation, it may be a while before there are temporary -- or permanent -- orders put into place as to how the non-custodial parent is to financially care for his children. Child support payments are typically not figured out first in a divorce or separation, and are determined near the end of your divorce. Therefore, there may be an extended period of time where nothing is determined in terms of the financial responsibilities of both parents and their children. However, you can avoid making some simple mistakes which can set you up for extremely expensive child support payments in the future.



  • Understand that the courts function off of "precedents." If something has worked well for an extended period of time, the courts will typically make orders accordingly.
  • Avoid paying too much to your spouse during this unsettling time. Some parents want to do the right thing and help out, but precedents may end up leaving a parent with higher child support payments than they can continue to afford. You may end up paying more than the courts would end up calculating with their standard child support calculations.
  • Space out your payments and keep them irregular, recommends the author of the "Fathers' Rights Protection System." This shows that you are at least giving some money to your former spouse to help them out with the children, but that you are helping as you can and not necessarily on a strict schedule. This is important if you're afraid the judge is going to order child support in high amounts, in which you may have difficulties getting it lowered in the future.



Getting child support payments lowered through the courts typically requires you to prove a substantial change in circumstances. This is why it is important to get your child support payments set to a reasonable amount from the start to avoid more expenses and court drama when you find you are unable to support yourself, let alone your children.


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1 comment:

  1. Hello,

    I am the fiancé of a wonderful man and father. Prior to meeting him I was a single mother who believed the pervasive myths about all fathers who are no longer with the mothers being dead beat dads. Well after a year of being with the man of my dreams I came to the painful realization that although true for some, fathers are often the victims of angry manipulative, resentful bitter exes that will do as much damage as they can and for as long as they are allowed to do so. My fiancé’s exe has lied, and manipulated and even made personal threats to me and my fiancé. Prior to the end of the relationship my fiancé tried one last attempt at reconciliation for his children, his ex claimed she took him off of child support, and when the relationship ended for the last time my fiancé found himself paying 9,000 in back child support for the period of time he was living with and supporting his children and ex, who btw is a nurse and was going to school during the time back child support was accruing. Now that she is collecting back child support and the ridiculous amount Texas normally takes for cs she is enjoying a comfortable life of unemployment. My fiancé is not able to see his children for months at a time, she sends them only after single motherhood begins to wear on her and she needs a break which is usually around the three month mark. When they do visit the oldest a girl of 6 comes with stories of lies mommy has told her about how terrible daddy is. My fiancé show’s up every single weekend he has visitation knowing that she will not open the door, he can hear the children crying as he knocks. Recently she began simply leaving before he gets there. We know the Texas courts don’t give a shit if a black man who loves and does the right things for his children, see them or not we are aware of the racist republican state we live in.The laws give unfair power to these bottom feeder so called mothers and makes it impossible for the average father to survive financially emotionally or otherwise. My fiancé also has a son and while his mother doesn’t keep him from visiting, she is neglectful of her son, in every way you can think of, he has switched schools 3 times in one year, he practically lives with friends and neighbors while she drinks and smokes away the 775 dollars in child support she receives. My boyfriends son has behavioral issues has fallen behind in school and spends more and more time with us in a effort to provide some stability and normalcy in his life. We have asked her to just allow him to live with us but she lives off of the child support she gets from him and her other baby daddy so the children are her meal ticket. Again the courts don’t care ( they are using the mothers as well as the fathers to make money) how abusive these mothers are to their children or the decent men who want to be fathers, we know that child support was never about the children. Does any man in this position ever overcome these Systemic obstacles? I can tell you that despite my inaccurate beliefs about all men who aren’t with the mothers of their children being dead beat dads, and despite it being true for my own daughters father who is the stereotype I never put him on child support. I know why this system exists and the true reason it was put in place and nothing would entice me to participate in enslaving another human being in any way shape or form. Bad fathers and mothers a like will answer for the damages they inflict on their child. It’s not my job to hand down verdict and punishment. So is there any way to remove chains that bind? Because seeing the look of defeat in my mans eyes breaks my heart and these kids deserve better, but as long as the power is in the hands of people like his exes, I fear many more good men will be destroyed.

    Sincerely

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